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Journey

04. 11. 2006
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We made our way through a dense rain forest over the past few days.  We were supporting each other, lending a hand when we need one, as we slowly and carefully found our way to a pleasant meadow.  The going was difficult in the forest but we did not hesitate or doubt that we should keep going.  When we arrived at the meadow, we jumped up and down and hugged and laughed for joy of having made it through the forest.  As we explored the meadow, we could see green grass, yellow flowers and highlands covered with trees.  I thought we should live
in the meadow but you wisely observed that we must keep moving because we are on a journey.  I started into the forest on the far side of the meadow.  You eagerly followed my path and we plunged together into the dark forest, which consisted of tall fir trees.  There were boulders and loose rocks strewn about and it was dark and bit cold.  Before we knew it, I had taken us to the edge of a cliff that we saw in the nick of time.  This frightened both of us.  By now the sun had set and the forest was very dark.  We had to proceed very carefully, feeling our way from tree trunk to tree trunk, being very careful about our footing.  You began to have doubts about my leadership and navigational skills and lovingly told me that you were becoming frightened about where we were going.  We were holding on to each other so I pulled you close to me and asked why you were afraid and what you were afraid of.  I knew you were not afraid of the darkness or the rocks or the trees or the forest or the wet or the cold or the spiders or even the bears.  You said that you were afraid of becoming lost.  You were afraid that we would become separated and that you would be left deep in woods and all alone.  You were afraid that you would lose yourself in this way because you had followed me into the woods.  You were afraid that by going with me to this dark place, you risked more than you were willing to risk.  You began to cry as you said this and you told me that you trusted me and knew that I would never leave you alone in the darkness but that there were so many things that could happen to separate us.  You were afraid that you might regret going into the forest in the first place.  You were afraid that the experience could end badly and that you would have been better off staying in the safety of the meadow.  You said all of this as I held you in my arms.  You felt bad for saying it but it was very important that you told me how you were feeling.  You started to say that you felt stupid but you stopped yourself and we both chuckled a bit.  I put my hands on your shoulders and stretched my arms out so we were face to face.  I asked you to look into my eyes, which was a dumb thing to do because it was pitch black and we couldn\'t see each other, so we laughed and I took your hands and put them on my face.  Your fingers felt good against my skin.  I told you that I would not ever let go of you.  I told you that I would never leave you alone in the dark forest.  I asked you to trust me.  I told you that not only would you hold on to me, but I would hold on to you.  I told you that I love you.  I told you that I was sorry that I had taken you to a place where your fear overtook you.  You heard my words in the darkness, but even more, you felt the depth of the emotion through your fingers on my face.  You felt my face tighten with emotion and my eyes clinch tight.
Then you felt the tears  begin to flow out of my eyes and onto my cheeks.  Without hesitation you pulled me to you.  Now you were holding me even as your own tears flowed down your cheeks.  We held each other tight and collapsed together on the ground, embracing and hugging and softly stroking each other.  We did not need to speak further and we communicated our love through our touch.  We found ourselves lying together on the soft soil of the dark forest.  We must have fallen asleep.  We realized that we could see each other.  The sun had come up.  In the light of day, we could see that we were not deep in the forest after all.  We were at the edge of another meadow.  What had seemed so frightening and dangerous in the dark of the night was not dangerous at all.  We had been safe all along.  We ran the few remaining steps into the meadow.  We stood in the bright sunshine.  We felt the warmth of the sun on our bodies.  Now we looked at each other and laughed.  We realized that we had been together and that this had brought us safely through the darkness of the night.  I asked you if you wanted to go back into the forest if our journey brought us to another one and you grinned and said, of course, and that you were no longer afraid.
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