You Told Me Not to Fall Off

I am not neither English, not American, but still I have a feeling that there is something wrong with your grammar. Some sentences seem to be a direct translation from another language: You told me not to give up when in tunnel is no light (když v tunelu není světlo) Shouldn't be there: "when there is no light in the tunnel"? If you want to keep the word "light" at the end of the line then please try this one: "Look, in this tunnel there is no light" or something like that. I prefer die to fight Here you want "die" and "to fight" to be verbs. No good. It might be better with nouns, e.g.: "I prefer death to a fight." What already we know both - impossible. "Already" must be at the very end. "What both of us know already." But this doesn't fit into your poem. What about this one: "Please, be with me!" you told me only yesterday, but as we both know already even angels lose their way. I stress that by no means I am an expert in English and my suggestions may be wrong too. But still - I would recommend not to try to change the syntax if you are not a native speaker of English. Only great masters may do it.